But It Never Would
by Second Sun
Summary: A series of one-shots forcing the Noah family to endure highly unlikely situations that have completely placed them out of their element.


But It Never Would

A/N: This was entertaining to write. I hope I've kept the Noahs relatively in character. I realize Lulubell would never say half of what she does here, but the magic of Fanfiction conquers all. Enjoy!

"Lulubell, got a problem or something?" Devit smirked. "Problem hii!" Jasdero echoed while pointing a long gray finger at the Noah of Lust. Tyki was surprised that even the idiot twins had noticed Lulubell's erratic twitching and incessant scratching. They were usually too caught up in driving everyone else insane to really care about what she was doing. Road balled up her napkin and threw it at Devit.

"She doesn't need you to point it out dimwits," she said. Devit frowned and picked up his fork.

"Shut up, Road!"

"Shut up, shut up hii!" The twins grabbed their guns and pointed them at each other. Tyki rolled his eyes.

"Don't fight, lero! Lero said noticing that chaos would probably ensue. "The Earl hasn't even arrived yet, lero!"

Lulubell started scratching her head.

The Earl was running a bit late, Tyki noted. He, the Idiots, Road, and Lulubell were seated in the dining room waiting for the Earl to appear for breakfast. He had called a meeting merely an hour prior to now yet, it seemed he himself was a bit behind.

Lulubell twitched again and began to scratch her leg, abandoning all efforts of grace.

"Is Lulubell sick? We can give her some medicine, right Dero?" Devit cooed.

"Yes, medicine hii!"

Lulubell gave them a nasty glare and proceeded to scratch her left arm using her claw-like nails. The curtain leading into the dining room opened.

"Good morning my fellow Noahs," the Earl's cheerful voice said coming from the doorway. "Forgive my tardiness, I had a little trouble regarding our favorite little exorcist Allen walker." Road did a double take.

"What about Allen?"

"Don't worry Road, he's still alive," the Earl said with a sigh. "Anyway, let us began our morning feast."

They all began to dig in, with the exception of Lulubell, who was currently sitting on her hands.

"Lulubell, my dear, are you feeling well?" The Earl inquired when he noticed her not eating."

"I'm fine," she said. Her eyes were turn downcast as she stared at her food. Tyki raised his eyebrow and took a bite of toast. She was such a stubborn woman. Halfway through the meal, Lulubell excused herself. She turned into a cat and scampered off, probably to her room.

"Tyki-pon," the Earl started. "Why don't you see why our precious Lulubell is unwell?" Tyki sighed and set his glass down. He gracefully exited the room, ignoring the snickers and scandalous whispers from the twins. Tyki went to her room and saw that she wasn't there. He did, however, find black cat hair on the bed.

"Lulubell, come out," he said quietly. There was no response so he decided to wait on the bed until she decided to emerge. She did and climbed on the bed next to him. She started biting her legs.

"Lulubell, biting yourself won't make it stop."

The ebony cat stopped her actions immediately and stared at him with what he presumed to be an irritated stare.

"You are going to need to tell the Earl soon," he continued. Lulubell's hair rose and she gave a violent hiss and jumped on the floor. She quickly shifted back into her human form yet devoid of clothes. Tyki was a bit rattled to see the nude figure of his fellow Noah at first but upon closer inspection, he saw multiple red dots on her body.

"Look at me," she snapped. "I look like a clown."

"No you look like someone who has been graced with the presence of fleas." Tyki stated with a smirk.

She jumped on the bed next to him with the grace of a feline. "Wipe that smirk off your face. If Jasdero and Devit had not decided to bring those filthy animals back here, then I wouldn't have this problem." She said hissing in his ear.

Tyki shifted uncomfortably. "Lulubell, I'd appreciate for the sake of decency if you would please clothe yourself."

Lulubell gave a deep sigh and wrapped a blanket around her body.

"I'll go get you some medication okay?" Tyki said taking his top hat and placing it on his head.

"This is our secret." Lulubell replied darkly.

"Of course," Tyki agreed.

Later that day, Tyki left a small bag in front of Lulubell's room. She emerged an hour later completely at ease and thanked Tyki for his assistance. Road and the Twins weren't entirely sure what had happened between the two older Noah but they had their suspicions. The Earl suspected something a little less risqué. He had presumed that Lulubell might have gotten fleas or tics or something. Perhaps she was ill with a human disease. Tyki reassured him that it was just the fabric of her clothes irritating her skin so he let it go. Oh how horrible that would have been, the Earl thought, if by chance Lulubell were to get seriously ill, but it couldn't happen. No, it never would.


End file.
